I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.