I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.