I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.