Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.
If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.