You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

I drink to forget I drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.