Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.
I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.