Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.

I drink to forget I drink.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.