Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.