So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.

Your body's really only meant to compete at the highest levels of combat sports for a few years.

I think stand is better now than it's ever been. I think it's the greatest time ever to do standup comedy.

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

You could smell my ass from mars.

I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was their friend, but other people would just think I was an asshole. I was at least partly right.