So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.

Houston Alexander is for real!

We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.

Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.