Houston Alexander is for real!

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

You do what you're supposed to do, but you have to be honest about what they're doing. When you do a comedy show on a network the problem is there are going to be a bunch of people who aren't comedians that are going to tell you what's funny.

You could smell my ass from mars.

I’m afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.