If you attach your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking.

If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.

Also I can come up with new bits - people yell stuff out and it's a new subject or a subject that I've been thinking about that I haven't done onstage yet and I'll just run with it.

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.