When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.

Every single religion that has ever been on the face of the Earth, ever, is a cult. That’s all they are.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

The Comedy Store in LA, it's a really loose room and it's really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.

One of the things that happened is I did a lot of shitty gigs. When you do a bunch of shitty bar gigs you have to get used to people yelling at you, you're used to thinking on the fly, to dealing with weird situations.

You could smell my ass from mars.

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.