The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.

People for the most part can smell lies.

The people I know that have the hardest time keeping it together emotionally are people that don't workout.

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken.

No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.