I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.

The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.

If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.

Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith - and that nothing has to be proven.

Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people need, they need their down time. D.C. audiences are almost universally praised by comedians.

Your body's really only meant to compete at the highest levels of combat sports for a few years.

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.