The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.

Reality really is theater. There's no other way to describe it. It's all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.

I don`t like people that make their living talking about bullshit, and you see them in many shows that are made on the same subject. When you go looking at UFOs or bigfoot or what-have-you, there's just nothing there.

When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour - it's a big difference. It's annoying - your feet hurt, your back hurts - it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.