Selling your life to sit in a box and work for a machine. An uncaring machine that demands productivity that doesn't understand you and doesn't want to understand you... There's no natural behaviour. Everyone is wearing clothes they don't want to wear. Everybody is showing up and doing something they don't want to do. They have no connection to it. That's the problem with our society.

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.

I did a lot of crazy gigs man. I hosted a Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket Rhode Island which is this tiny depressing fishing town, all Portuguese immigrants and it's just a humorless, dark town.

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

I've been involved in mixed martial arts since 1997 when I first started working for the UFC.