Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.

The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.

Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring.

I have a green card now, but they can take that away, yeah, they can take that away at any moment. So please don't; please let me keep it.

I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.