I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.

You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'

There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes.

I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.