There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.

I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.

The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing.