I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can't even commit to being uncommitted.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.

If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.

Americans just don't understand dry wit.

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.