When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance.

The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.