If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring.

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.

You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.

I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.