Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.