I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.

I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face.

I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.

By any rational metric, I am boring.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.