Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.

Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.

There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.