I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.

I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.

I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

People are friendlier in New York than London.

Americans just don't understand dry wit.