If you’ve been here, in New York, it has been dominated by the UN General Assembly, the annual event where delegates come from all over the world to f*** up this city’s traffic.

Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws, we're just saying it's a little bit weird you didn't have to.

Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.