I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

Ads are baked into content like chocolate chips into a cookie. Except, it’s actually more like raisins into a cookie - because nobody f-‍-‍-ing wants them there.

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can't even commit to being uncommitted.

If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.

I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'