When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.

The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.