My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'

I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.

I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.