The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.

I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.

Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.

I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.

I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!