When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance.
John OliverAttending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.
John OliverI think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
John Oliver