Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across the Channel, but we didn't want anything to do with it.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.

The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.

There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.

I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.