Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.

Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.

Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'

There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.

I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.