I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.

Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.

I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen.

Americans just don't understand dry wit.

Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.