Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.

Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.

There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers.