A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.

I have a green card now, but they can take that away, yeah, they can take that away at any moment. So please don't; please let me keep it.

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

I don't know if there is some psychological thing of wanting to know where your doctor got his degree from before he comes into the medical room.

Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.

Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.