The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen.

There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.

Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can.

If you’ve been here, in New York, it has been dominated by the UN General Assembly, the annual event where delegates come from all over the world to f*** up this city’s traffic.

When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.