There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.

I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.

I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.

Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.

Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.