The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

By any rational metric, I am boring.

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.