Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.

Do you know how hard it is to kill 30 million people? It's a logistical nightmare.

Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.

You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'