British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!

When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.