We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across the Channel, but we didn't want anything to do with it.

I find it hard in my general life to think further than the week ahead.

I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.

The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.

When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking.

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'