In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face.

I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound.

Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.

My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.

Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.