I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.

It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can't even commit to being uncommitted.

Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.