With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.

I use very few muscles at the best of times.

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.