When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.

The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere.

If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.

For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.

I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.