We're just a weed in the universe

It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.

I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, "I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be", then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, "I shouldn't be here!"

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake?

When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.

For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.