If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat?

By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.

With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.

People say Dolphins are intelligent and that but they’ve never done anything that have blown me away. They say I’m a div and Dolphins are intelligent…It just baffles me.

What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.

The Web is the new book though, innit?