I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good

I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt.

Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?

I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.

Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe.

People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!