If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.

You never see an old man eating a Twix

Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.

How would I know which one I was?

You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.

Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says.

This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.