Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.

This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.

If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good

Chinese people age overnight.

A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.

I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.