Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.

I always have a problem liking things I'm told I should like.

Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.

I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.

The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.