Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.

Chinese people age overnight.

I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit.

Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.

To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.

I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.