I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

Most people unfamiliar with the men in a new town might search for love until they find it. I picked out some guy on my second day in LA, who worked at the local bicycle shop, and handed my virginity to him. “You can fill a tire? Sounds good to me. Let's call it a date.” Needless to say he wasn't Mr. Right.

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.